Smells like Hubris or is that Teen Spirit?

If it feels like Hubris, sounds like Hubris, looks like Hubris and smells like Hubris, then it must be Hubris . . . Right?  I am going to attempt a gross rationalization in the negative, but self-doubting has me questioning the truth.  Upon reading over my last few posts in as objective a manner as possible, I come away with a feeling that perhaps they stink of the sort of Hubris found in a braggart’s mouth.  Could this all be the halitosis of my soul rearing its ugly head?  Again I choose to fight the good fight and answer in the negative.  In these past few writings, I have been attempting to convey a philosophy.  Perhaps not so eloquently written and bordering on a maniacal self-love that I wouldn’t be proud to call my own, I find a need to clarify my thoughts a bit further.  It is important to note that I believe certain activities to be quite sinful.  To hide behind one’s insecurities or to pretend to be something you are not by putting forth a false face are but two of these sins that seem damning to one’s soul.  Neither one claiming a stronger hold than the next, but both are well obscured by what is in my opinion the mother of all indiscretions . . . turning a blind eye to one’s full potential.  Over the course of my life, there have been times when I have often done just that.  It is fear that has driven me to such ends.  Fear of judgment, embarrassment, and in the end . . . failure.

I think we all struggle with this in our lives from time to time.  Whether it be a decision not to complete one’s education or something as simple as saying "no I cannot" when there isn't a single reason for not saying "yes I can".  We let this fear determine our path and deny our true potential.   My desire for myself and for my children to fulfill this potential is not to gain adoration, though I think prior posts make it seem this way.   So, perhaps becoming “fascinating” is a poor choice of words.  In the end, if one’s acts serve any purpose other than to garner them some shred of enlightenment and self-fulfillment, it is to be an inspiration to others in their own pursuit of the potential that lies within them.  Perhaps I should tell my children to be inspirational rather than fascinating.  Based upon Sir Anthony Hopkins’ “what one man can do, another man can do”, perhaps feeding the soul of the world with what seem to be self-indulging achievements will inspire others to know that they too are capable of the same.  To waste this potential is a crime.  Whether it be for gain or simply for the sake of saying one has reached the end of a chosen path, the completion of the journey cannot be hindered by an excuse driven by fear.  If not for the fear of falling, why wouldn’t we reach for the summit regardless of whether the outcome is what we had hoped for in our dreams.  Again, it is the road that we travel that defines us.  Our ability to continue walking forward when the journey seems foolish and others begin to doubt us that defines success and offers the inspiration necessary to feed the dreams of the world.

So, I shall tell my children to reach their potential not for the sake of adoration and certainly not for vanities sake, but rather to inspire others to do the same in their own lives for the good of their own soul.  Denying one’s God given gift is an insult to his/her name. For the sake of beating the proverbial dead horse, I guess I am attempting to accomplish all that I can in this life, not for the sake of being an idol, but rather to one day die without regret and serve my purpose while I am still alive.  If anything is served by outside observation, I pray that it is that others will be inspired by these acts and attempt to chase down their own purpose no matter how absurd it may seem from the prison of their daily grind.  I don’t know if this has served as a clarification or has simply clouded the waters even further.  These are thoughts that I am still attempting to fully understand myself, so if you feel completely lost don’t despair.  Simply skip to the next entry and dismiss this as a bout of delusional ramblings brought about after a helping of bad shellfish.  R.