Day 119

The School Play from Hell

After wasting a half year of my eldest child's education on the study of Samson and Delilah, the culmination of the International School's efforts would be displayed in all of its glory on this the 16th day of June, 2011.  We arrived early to ensure we got fairly reasonable seating to observe this spectacle.  Both of our children would participate, which is really where our day began.  The wife was off of work to deal with a number of administrative details surrounding our move which left little time for the creation of a "costume" for our youngest to wear at this occasion.  I have learned, and embraced, many domestic skills since transitioning from working stiff to stay at home dad, but sewing is not one of them.  I am however, fairly artistic and between my art skills and my wife's seamstress skills we managed to whip up a "superhero" costume for our little one.  The eldest was a bit easier.  Costume requirements were simply black pants, black shirt and colored hair.  We sorted the shirt and pants and left the colored hair to the folks at school.

Settling into our seats, the metal folding kind, I couldn't help but take note how this experience was going to be different from those we have enjoyed back in the good ole US of A.   First of all, the school is much too small to have a dedicated theater space, so the production took place on the playground.  The playground, so to speak, is actually just a paved courtyard in the middle of the school where they allow the children outside once or twice a day to play with hand-me-down foam balls.  I know that I make it sound more like a concentration camp than an elementary school, but we have become quite spoiled with the facilities and the level of education our children are afforded back home.  Anything less would seem uncivilized.  The truth is, in our time here, we have seen far worse than that which our children must currently endure.  My perspective has so changed that I now make my judgment based upon whether the school has indoor or outdoor restrooms.  Imagine how pleased you would be at the thought of your youngster using the toilet in sub-freezing temps.  At one of the schools we toured, the children actually hung their coats and bags outside under a lean to, but I digress.

The play began with a nice musical performance of  "Sweet Child of Mine" by a couple of the middle school boys.  Being fairly talented youngsters, this was probably the highlight of the show.  Not sure exactly what it had to do with Samson and Delilah, but it was delightful all the same.  The performance proper began with the early learning group of which my youngest is a part.  They were all dressed in some form of superhero garb and essentially danced and played on stage for a few moments while the eldest of them recited a line or two.  About what you would expect from this age group.  Cute, but not terribly organized.  They actually did a nice job in utilizing the middle school kids, each of them pairing up with the little ones so some level of coordination could be maintained.  Once the early learning group had completed their homage to superheros, the primary school kids took the stage to do their thing.  This group would be the main performance of the evening.  A rendition of Samson and Delilah that to be honest still has be scratching my head.  If I wasn't familiar with the subject, I would have no idea what happened when Samson's hair was cut based upon the meanderings on stage.  Part was in French, part in English (I think) and part in Spanish.

It was obviously an attempt to showcase how much they had taught these children in the language arts throughout the year.  The only thing it proved to me is that we were correct in our decision to move our kids.  Most of the anglo families attending the school at our children's age seem to be quite dissatisfied and this night would put an exclamation mark on this feeling.  The only children with speaking rolls seemed to be the French children.  Now, if you are to really show the world what you have done, wouldn't you have the English speaking children take the French rolls and the French children take the English speaking parts?  Or in the alternative, and for the sake of clarity, have the French children handle the French portion while the Anglo children tended to the English speaking parts.  Neither was the case.  The French children were the focus and due to their fairly poor English, I could understand a damn thing that was going on.  My sense of humor being what it it, I couldn't help but snicker at the use of "Barbie Girl" as one of the musical acts.  The song was sung by three 8 to 10 year old girls and it was clear that something had been lost in translation.

The meager understanding of the English language at this school reared its ugly head as these three gals danced around to a song referencing public sex, silicone tits and female degradation.  However you interpret it, I don't think it is a message you want to be sending to the young girls in your school, and I am not even a conservative!  I still wonder if anyone else in the audience picked up on the inappropriateness of it.  That's what happens when you learn your second language from pop culture.  I am going to include the lyrics just in case you don't know the song.  It goes a little something like this, and remember, these are 8 year old girls singing this tune . . . horrifying:

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World 
Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic 
You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere 
Imagination, Life Is Your Creation 

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party 

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World 
Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic 
You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere 
Imagination, Life Is Your Creation 

I'm A Blonde Single Girl In The Fantasy World 
Dress Me Up, Take Your Time, I'm Your Dollie 
You're My Doll, Rock And Roll, Feel The Glamour And Pain 
Kiss Me Here, Touch Me There, Hanky-Panky 

You Can Touch, You Can Play 
You Can Say I'm Always Yours, Oooh Whoa 

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World 
Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic 
You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere 
Imagination, Life Is Your Creation 

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah 
Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh 
Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah 
Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh 

Make Me Walk, Make Me Talk, Do Whatever You Please 
I Can Act Like A Star, I Can Beg On My Knees 
Come Jump In, Be My Friend, Let Us Do It Again 
Hit The Town, Fool Around, Let's Go Party 

You Can Touch, You Can Play 
You Can Say I'm Always Yours 
You Can Touch, You Can Play 
You Can Say I'm Always Yours 

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah 
Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh 
Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah 
Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh 

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World 
Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic 
You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere 
Imagination, Life Is Your Creation 

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World 
Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic 
You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere 
Imagination, Life Is Your Creation 

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah 
Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh 
Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah 
Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh 



The one time they had an Anglo child speaking French was when my son's friend from the UK has a quick two line speech in the middle of the play.  An unfair attempt to take credit for his bilingual abilities that were obtained at another school that he attended for two years in the all French system.  I don't mean to rant and rave and put this place down.  It has been a nice transition for my kids, but is far from carrying forth the mission that it claims to be supporting.  The English children are clearly not learning French.  It would seem that the French children are learning a bit of English which is great, but they need to advertise this as such and the Anglo children can find a new school to attend.  To be honest, the educational experience here has probably been the most disappointing portion of our time here and we look forward to summer break and a restart of sorts in an all French private school that we now have both boys enrolled in.  The evening wasn't a complete and total drag though as we still had one performance left.  The middle school kids took the stage to put on their own performance that seemed to be written by the class.  It was disjointed and again had something to do with superheroes, but I give them an A for effort.  They had fun with it and even though it didn't make much sense, it was at least original.  The best part was the final act in which things went off script the the walls came crumbling down . . . literally.  After giving his final speech, one of the main characters stepped back center stage, lost his footing, tripped over a bench, tore through the elaborately painted backdrop they had painstakingly painted over the course of the year and plummeted to an unfriendly landing two or three feet below the back of the stage.

I damn near gave it a standing ovation, but the shock and horror on everyone else's faces reminded me that this probably wasn't the time or place for my sense of humor.  The kid was just fine, but the stage was ruined and after the fall, everything turned into mass chaos with children running this way and that without a clue how to finish out the play that clearly had a moment or two remaining.  It all just sort of fizzled out with a puff of smoke and screams of horror when the stage props were torn to shreds like the opening banner at a high school football game.  I took this as a sign to make a quick exit.  Not feeling sociable and up for pot luck afterwards, we gathered our lads and made a semi-inconspicuous run for the door.  And so ends our time at the International School.  Another chapter complete in our adventure.  One that didn't go according to plan, but ended as it began . . . a complete disaster.  Wishing you all the best for now.  Until tomorrow.  R.