I can’t get no . . . “job” satisfaction.

Life around the Butler estate gets a bit depressing when momma bear has a difficult day at the office.  It is after all, the reason we are here.  It becomes hard to take the tough times in stride when the underlying mission seems in jeopardy.  Truth is, I think the wife struggles the most out of us all with this new lifestyle.  The persistent homesickness is hard to keep below the surface when the daily grind becomes unbearable.  The thought creeps in and you can’t shake it from your head.  I gave up my life back home for THIS?  It is at this point that a funk sets in and all perspective is lost.  Unfortunately, being the spark plug that keeps our engine running, my wife’s temperament can take a monumental toll on the whole crew.  The lads and I love her tremendously and only want the best for her.  We would endure the fires of Hades if that is what was required for her happiness.  I think most women would agree that it is a lucky thing to have one strong man in their lives to love them unconditionally.  My wife has three.  Truth is, the wife has tremendously broad shoulders.  And no, I don’t mean that she looks like a linebacker and can’t find a blouse to fit properly.  I mean that she is a tough chick with a whole shit load on her plate at any given time.  She bears the weight of these responsibilities with a smile and it is sometimes easy to take that for granted.  That being said, as she carries this tremendously heavy load, I pray she remembers that she is carrying this load sitting atop my shoulders.  The load can at times be too burdensome for the two of us, fortunately I have a mini mule team at my side that are capable of carrying a fair burden themselves.  I think ultimately this is what we came for.  Sure, it is great to further my wife’s career and it will be a wonderful advantage in life for the boys to be bilingual, but the true pearl is that we are close as a family.  We have learned to depend on each other in good times and bad.  We push ourselves daily and through these trials, we have all gotten to know each other in a way I don’t think we could have anticipated when we started this adventure.  It is easy for my wife and I to be in tune with each other, but the children’s sense of when we as adults need a pep talk is uncanny.  Not to seem selfish or insensitive, but as a child, I don’t think I ever took my parents emotional wellbeing into account in my day to day activities.  Our children however, have learned to read us like a book.  They know when days are good and when they are difficult despite my wife and I doing our best to put on a happy face for them to witness.  Some would say that letting the children see these moments of weakness would lead to instability and uncertainty on their end.  I have discovered that the opposite is true.  They have learned a great deal from seeing their parents face and overcome adversity.  It seems they have embraced this adaptive personality and in turn don’t feel so alone when they have a rough day themselves.  They know we are all in this together and that our family will remain strong and supportive no matter what the odds.

Sure, the last day or so have been tough, but in every life a little rain must fall.  As it always does, the storm will pass and the sun will once again shine on our shoulders.  It takes some a lifetime to learn this lesson, and some don’t learn it at all.  I am thankful for my little tribe.  There are days I hate them and love them all at once, but through it all, we are together and moving forever forward as a unit.  A band of brothers, bound to each other by blood and fire.  When I am old and grey, I will look back on this brief period in our history and be thankful for the time I got to spend with each of them.  To share in each other’s victories and defeats had been a joy and I wouldn’t change that for the world.  As for my wife in particular, if you are reading this, please know that we are behind you and that no matter how many times you fall down, one of your “boys” will be there to lend you a hand back to your feet.  As for me, I have learned to live each day as my last and do my best not to get bogged down in the details.  Truth of the matter is, none of us can see the future and I wouldn’t care to cast a glance at it even if I could.  That is the adventure of it all.  Not knowing what tomorrow will bring.  The one certainty is that life will change.  It will evolve and the dark times will often be a fading memory that is soon forgotten.  The big picture has a way of becoming a beautiful painting despite those times when you only use a palate of black and white.  We will soon return to our home land to recharge our batteries and I would bet that by the end of our trip, we will be missing our life here abroad.  Strange thing how life can change so dramatically in a matter of mere months.  I don’t know that any of this makes much sense to anyone else out there, but I hope it brings light into my bride’s day.  Misery loves company you know.  I too know the feeling of job dissatisfaction.  Did you know I have three bosses?  That’s right, three!  All of them make a mess around the office and expect me to make it all right again.  Not a single one of them could find their freaking stapler without help and none seem to care for the food at the Cantina.  And so it goes with life as an Indian rather than the Chief.  The cold reality of any “job” is that shit rolls downhill.  The best you can do is let it wash over you and do the most you can with what you have.  That is all I have for today.  Gotta get back at the grind so I don’t get fired at the end of the day.  The bosses don’t like it when I just sit around and handle personal business on company time.  Has anyone seen the cover sheet to my TPS report?  R.