Day 217

An empty canvas, a clean slate, and teaching an old dog new tricks with a letter to a friend back home.

In an effort to rekindle my fire for this project and recharge my recently drained creative battery, I have decided to give the blog a much needed face lift.  That being said, you may notice a change or two as I scour the information superhighway in search of the right fit.  Unfortunately, you have to try on a lot of pants before you find that pair that doesn’t make your ass look fat.  On that all too feminine sentiment, I would like to share with you what I have learned over the past few days.  First off . . . blogging is evidently for chicks.  There doesn’t seem to be any template available for the heterosexual wordsmith other than one that looks like the cover of Field and Stream.  Aside from the occasional fishin’ template, it would seem that the remainder of the available free resources on the net are geared toward the fairer sex.  I have located one or two and will be testing them out in the coming weeks.  The blog renovation that I am now affectionately referring to as Jack 2.0 has actually led me to other epiphanies as well.  I haven’t really painted or in my opinion written anything of any note in the better part of a week or so and I realized that I needed to step back from all creative endeavors to reassess the battlefield.  I find myself focused too much on the center and have weakened my flanks.  It is from off center that I do my best work and it is just about time I get back to where I started.  I set aside the painting that has been half finished and collecting dust in the kitchen in favor of a new project to go along with my recently renewed vows to my blog.  These are not the only things in life to be started anew.  With a renewed vigor and zest for all projects in my life, I continue to run a 5k semi-daily and have returned to my studies of this language that has heretofore evaded my understanding.  I have achieved much on both fronts and while I may still be sputtering out fragmented sentences, the comprehension level seems to have once more increased and I am beginning to think that perhaps I will be semi-fluent by the end of our time here in France.  Running is the least joyful endeavor at this point, but a necessary evil.  I have a new favorite t-shirt that I now wear with pride.  On the front is embossed the simple phrase “Running Sucks”.  That about sums it up.  For a guy that used to only run when chased, this daily routine is agonizing at best.  The problem is that there are few other activities that provide the same level of cardiovascular fitness.  In comparison with my preferred physical activity, cycling, I believe the benefits are something on the level of 2 to 1.  I think there is an unfortunate analogy that can be drawn between exercise and diet.  The better it is for you, the worse it tastes and feels.  Eating corn ships and napping all day tastes and feels much better than a green salad and a brisk run to the neighboring town.

I have however, won out over most of my demons and am fortunately past that point during which one decides that fitness is for the birds and that it would be better to die early so long as it was done with a cheeseburger in hand.  At this point, I would say that I am in that lovely honeymoon between have to and need to.  It is no longer and act of pure will that drives me to run and ride, but I have yet to cross over to the dark side where a missed workout brings with it certain depression.  Yes, this too is an addiction and I am an addictive personality.  I become horribly addicted to the endorphins that long term exercise brings and am on the verge of taking my first hit that will spiral downward into a horrible habit that can’t easily be broken.  I would suppose then that I could proudly say that I have settled for the lesser of two evils.  All else is well and the family seems to be prospering.  We keep our house full of guests and our dance card seems to remain full despite my hermit like proclivities.  The eldest is back into sport and within a couple of days, his training was evident and was soon one of the best in his martial arts class and he like his father is again addicted and this will certainly open the gate to further sporting opportunities.  It has been noted in fact, that at school he hangs with the “football” boys.  I believe it just a matter of time before soccer re-enters our lives.  I told him recently that even if he was the worst player on a soccer team here, he would certainly be the best when he returned home.  I have watched the French children play in parks and backyards and the level of their proficiency in this sport make it seem as though most of them may well have dribbled a soccer ball out of the womb.  The bright spot is that this renewed interest in sport seems to be catching and the youngest of our brood who desperately needs and outlet for his energy seems to be keen on Karate and is a fair footballer in his own right.  I know it will be just a matter of time before we return to that hectic after school schedule of practice and weekend game days.  For now, we will enjoy the peace and quiet and do our best to continue our adventure here while dreaming or our upcoming trip home.  A wise man once said that the best way to combat the restless leg syndrome that my wife and I so suffer from is to plan for an upcoming trip . . . and so we shall.

My final comments for the evening are pointed to a friend back home from whom the inspiration for this blog first came to be.  He too is an avid writer and recently penned a wonderful post on fatherhood.  In fact, much of his writing is a commentary on his life with two young children.  Not wanting to clutter his blog with needless commentary from yours truly, I will post my comments here in hopes that he gives it a read.  Now I am certainly not one to give fathering advice, for as a father I have certainly failed as often as I have succeeded.  I do, however, have two thoughts to share.  In his post he gave credit to many influences that allow him to be the wonderful father that he is, but I wanted to point out that he missed someone very important.  You see, being a good father is really just a matter of time.  Giving that necessary time is not without sacrifice.  After reading his comments I felt certain that after a long day at work, he spent his evenings showering his two youngsters with all the affection that his gentle soul can muster.  I rather doubt that he spends his evening cooking dinner, cleaning house and catching up on laundry.  So how does it all get done?  How does he have the time to give the children the father that they need and still have clean socks in the morning?  He and I both know the answer to that question and she deserves as much thanks to his success as a father as any parenting book he has ever leafed through.  It is she that allows him the time to give so freely and completely of himself to his children when he gets home at night.  The truth of the matter is, parenting is a team effort and is best done by a husband and a wife.  Many are not so fortunate and I take my hat off to them as juggling life on your own and raising a child is a feat of epic proportions.  The best fathers have a supporting wife and the best mothers have a supporting husband.  Without mine, I would surely never succeed with the two young men in my life.   In closing he apologized for “chasing rabbit trails”.  His post was written without a script, without an editorial process.  It went this way and that and was pure genius.  No apology was necessary.  As someone who writes without an edit button my last piece of advice is as follows:  Learn to live your life “unscripted”.  Do you know what is at the end of the rabbit trail?  The rabbit hole of course.  Do you know what is at the bottom of the rabbit hole?  WONDERLAND.  Take your children on that journey with you and let them know the man you really are, both good and bad, and they will cherish that gift for the rest of their lives.  That is all I have for now.  See you all soon.  R.