Day 40

Well it was bound to happen, and it finally did . . . we have all taken quite ill.  All the symptoms are there . . . sick to the stomach, restless, irritable and sharing the general malaise that makes one not want to get out of bed in the morning.  Diagnosis?  Homesickness.  Cure?  Time.  It seems that the bottom has finally fallen out of the fantasy of this experience and the reality has finally set in.  We're not in Kansas anymore Toto, and not a single one of us seems thrilled with this prospect.  We hate...

Day 39

Don't call me a F _ _ _ing "EX"-patriot . . . the failings of Intercultural Training. Today was a profound day in my life.  One which will in all likelyhood be a watershed day that I will remember for the rest of my days.  The day I discovered my inner American.  That's right folks, scratch me and I will bleed the stars and stripes.  After the day's discourse, I discovered something about myself that even I found surprising . . . I am, and will always be profoundly American and I am not ashamed.  If this were...

Day 38

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb . . . adventures in grocery shopping and moderate electrocution. The day was relatively sedate.  The usual back and forth to the school house and the occasional wave of a paint brush here or there.  Since we had failed at our shopping adventure on Sunday, it was time to hit the market in an effort to replenish our supplies.  First to Pickards.  You see, the French have started to succomb to the western pace of life and as such, frozen foods have become a necessity. ...

Day 37

Three Americans and an Ethiopian walk into a bar . . . The morning began as every Sunday has since we have been here . . . leisurely.  We did put a bit more spring in our step than usual as we were hungry and our cupboards were bare.  There is a familiarity to this scene, isn't there?  We knew that shops close early on a Sunday if they are open at all, so we hustled our way out of the house and down a block to our local grocery.  Closed.  The joke was on us as we had just missed the operational hours by mere moments. ...

Day 36

Metrosexuality and a Reminder of Home The combination of two very busy days and the loss of an hour on the clock has us two days behind.  So, again we will have to work diligently to get you caught back up to speed.  I apologize for the delay in these postings, however, having burned the candle at both ends for the past two days, I needed a little R&R. Saturday was to be our day of commerce.  The boys needed new shoes so it was off to a couple of local shoe shops to see what we could find.  I had an agenda of my own ....

Day 35

Unemployment. I have decided to quit my job.  The pay is terrible and the fringe benefits suck.  Raising these two young men is a daily gut check that I could frankly do without.  When my wife got home this evening and I damned near slapped her in the mouth for cheating on me.  There is just absolutely no way these two little bastards are mine.  I think I referred to them as retarded gangbangers awhile back and I have decided that I would like to retract that comment.  These two make retarded...

Day 34

Raising Red Coats. Pita and Pole.  This is what my youngest kept saying to me in a sing song rhyme.  Over and over . . . Pita and Pole.  What in the sam hell is Pita and Pole I asked.  He wasn't going to give up the secret that easily.  Pita and Pole.  I was bothered by this riddle for most of the day today.  Then it hit me . . . Peter and Paul.  The children's curriculum is split into two parts.  One part English and one part French.  The interesting part is that my children are starting...

Day 33

The many loves of Juan Julio. Today was a very busy day for old Jack Butler.  The house is unpacked and we are back to home improvement land.  Continuing efforts to slather on a fresh coat of paint over Madam Chabou's filth is proving to be a never ending task.  The weather of the past two days has been marvelous.  Crisp mornings with very mild and very sunny afternoons.  Today was so nice in fact, that I layed my paint brush aside in favor of a bit of gardening.  As with everything else here,...

Day 32

Hot Dogs and Chewing Tobacco. Well, what can I say . . . the apple didn't fall too far from the damned tree.  My young son is not the only addict in the family.  See, I have a nasty little addiction of my own.  A monkey on my back that I just can't seem to shake . . . untill now.  My little simian friend goes by the name of Nicotine.  My preferred method of consumption?  Smokeless.  Always there in a pinch so to speak.  Clearly not a safe alternative to smoking, or at least so sayeth the packaging and certainly...

Day 31

Karma . . . yeah, I know that bitch. Ever have one of those days where everything you touch turns into a corn flavored poopcicle?  That pretty much sums up the entirety of my day.  Too much alone time with paintbrush in hand and my favorite playlist pouring through my earbuds has put me in a relatively melancholic state of mind.  In my wife's opinion, most of my musical taste leans toward the mournful.  I would argue "soulful", but I guess that is a matter of symantics.  The truth of the matter is, she is probably right. ...

Day 30

Little Pig, Little Pig, Let Me In . . . Yet another adventure filled day in Madam Chabou's house of horrors.  Laundry proves to be the proverbial thorn in our sides.  Madam Chabou's washing machine has begun to make some interesting sounds.  Sort of starts as a low grumble.  A clap of thunder from an approaching thunderstorm.  The kind that would send chills up Dorothy's spine.  The grumble is followed by a screach and clank.  Then a resounding thud, followed by more screaching and clanking.  To stick with...

Day 29

An afternoon at the Mall. With the house nearly sorted, we discovered that there were some essentials that we needed for civilized existance, so we headed to the local shopping mall.  After filling our basket to the brim we were ready to head back home to put some finishing touches on our unpacking.  The most notable purchase was a nice pair of house slippers.  We have discovered that the courtesy of passing out house slippers to guests isn't a courtesy at all.  It is a necessity.  Most traditional style homes in the area...

Day 28

Descending through the 7th circle of electronics hell with a chest cold and a bear named "Benji". I am overly excited to report that the last of the boxes have been emptied and we are "officially" moved in.  Things are still in quite a state of ill repair, but the worst seems to be behind us now.  We were even fortunate enough to wake this morning to a functioning television set that appeared to have satellite reception.  This day had promise.  In the end however, the ongoing battle I am having with French technology is beginning...

Day 27

I am pleased to say that we are  now back up to date.  This will conclude TODAY'S events and I am pleased to say that it will be posted in the usual manner as we are now back on the information super highway.  The phone technician came by and had us up and running in no time.  I had sent my wife off to work and dropped the kids at school in just enough time to meet the man from the telephone company.  He was a very nice young man who went about his business in a very quiet fashion.  With few words spoken,...

Day 26

Life is Good It was indeed to be an early morning.  With every electronic gadget in the place going haywire, I quickly reboxed our shelled LCD and sent it with my wife back to the electronics store to see if we could get it replaced and back in enough time to meet with the cable technician.  We decided it best to divide our forces for the day.  I would stay behind to continue the heavy lifting while my wife exchanged said television set.  It wasn't long before I recieved word from my better half.  They had hooked up the...

Day 25

Moving Day. There is an old movie out there that I am not sure you have ever seen.  A Richard Pryor film about the perils a man faced when he hired a moving company to help relocate his family from one city to another.  This film has weighed heavy on my mind since the good folks from our moving company showed up to pack us up for our trip overseas.  Horrors of broken dishes and soiled garments were constantly churning through my head.  Fortunately, the guys in the States were pros.  Packed everything securely and itemized...

Day 24

The InfirmaryA slight connectivity issue has prevented me from posting for the past three days, so I apologize in advance for the volume of this work over the next day or so.  My wife has graciously offered to be my surrogate as she has access to a WiFi connection during this period of communication darkness on my end.  This would be our last night in the hotel.  Our home away from home.  And not a moment too soon I might add.  As if the space was not small enough, spending day after day tending to sick youngsters had proven...

Day 23

A day late and a dollar short. Since yesterday evening went to hell in a hand basket, I did not have a chance to complete my daily entry.  Mom's triumphant return from parts unknown was certainly the highlight of the day.  I imagine she was somewhat disappointed with her greeting as the eldest was on the back end of a very long nap and the youngest was predictably coming down with the plague.  When the youngest awoke from his afternoon slumber, the fever was apparent.  It was obvious now that the puke fest of the prior evening...

Day 22

I am starting to get a little tired of cleaining up bodily fluids.  It seems as though the dog's bout of explosive diarrhea has subsided in just enough time for me to shift my focus to my youngests projectile vomit.  I suspect it is just the fall out from the recent hotdog overdose, but I am going to monitor the situation closely just the same.  We had another day of rain today.  Not really a down pour, just enough to be an inconvenience. We really didn't dare to get too far from the hotel as the three of us have had quite...