Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Jean-Claude Van . . . DAMN: Waffles, Schtroumpfs and a COLD Valentine’s Day


Color me mistaken.  With Smurfs on the brain, I entered into a weekend worth of social engagement on a mission.  Sharing the company of old and new friends alike, I was certain I would unravel the mysteries of the Schtroumpf.  I was not disappointed and I must now eat crow a bit in printing a slight retraction.  It would indeed seem that  the Smurfs, as I have always known them, are in reality Schtroumpfs.  They are the brain child of a Belgian cartoonist and the strip was originally written in French.  The term “Smurf” is actually a Dutch translation which we Americans picked up to presumptively not confuse the shit out of our children.  Cowards.  Sometimes reading the entire book isn’t enough if you forget the last page.  Should have done my research before running my mouth.  So, as it turns out, Belgium has provided us with tasty waffle treats, “The muscles from Brussels”, and SMURFS!   THANKS BELGIUM!

With that colossal weight off of my mind, I can shift my focus and share our latest misadventure overseas.   Despite a very vigilant watch being kept on our dwindling propane supply, it seems we miscalculated a bit and find ourselves beyond our reserves.  Now, with the coldest part of winter upon us, we are living without heat, a stove to cook on, or hot water to bathe our smelly flesh.  Yes, the dawning of Valentine’s Day did not find the wife and I sharing our hearts, but rather sharing our body heat in a single King Sized bed filled with our two young children.  How is that for romantic?  Actually, the wife was the only one sharing the warmth of our plush sleeping quarters.  Being the last to tend the fire and shut down the cold and dormant lower floor, I came to bed last night to find it well tended by three snuggled intruders in varying states of sleeping sprawl.  Old dad was relegated to a twin mattress on the cold hard floor.  Waking this morning with aching back and frozen extremities, I completely lost sight of any romantic gesture that needed to be offered to my loving wife of 12 years.

That is the way of things, I suppose.  As you become more and more settled into life with your partner, you become less and less concerned with complications arising from an annual flair up of VD (as a good friend of mine so eloquently referred to it).  Over the years, our VD has been well tended.  We have applied liberal salves and ointments by way of greeting cards, chocolates and the occasional bouquet of roses.  I have written poems, made dinner reservations and arranged weekend retreats, all in the name of curing our VD.  Having young children to raise and a lifetime worth of trials to face, you quickly realize that a singular day in the middle of February is not nearly enough to convey what your partner means to you.  VD comes and it goes.  Perhaps a day or so before and after you still feel the itching and burning, but eventually it is gone, and you go back to taking each other for granted.  A truly happy marriage requires one to treat the disease with much more frequency.  While not afforded an entire day throughout the course of the year, the cumulative nature of the moment or two stolen will amount to much more still.

We have always done that, she and I.  I keep her close to my soul with every moment that passes and she knows that a heart shaped trinket is not needed to know the depth of my love and affection.  An occasional moment holding hands as we walk down a city street, a momentary glance into each other’s eyes from across the room at a crowded dinner party, the words spoken without uttering a sound . . . these are the moments that make Saint Valentine willing to bless our union and that has NOTHING to do with February 14th.  For now, we will be content to tend to the fire in our hearth rather than our hearts and dream of warmer days when we can once again steal a romantic walk by the ocean or candlelit feast in the park.  I wish you all a Joyeuse Saint Valentin and promise to write again soon.  “Until then, remember, we’re all in this together.  Schooner Tuna  . . . the tuna with a HEART.”  R.

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