Message Sent and Received
Well, I must apologize for the lack of musical selection, my scavenged internet connection is a bit too slow to upload video . . . maybe next time, right? At this rate, it seems as though our internet installation is going to be a surprise attack. Let’s not dwell on the negative. The last few days have been proud days in my life. Though still hopelessly addicted to nicotine, I have kicked my caffeine habit for good. One vice down, one to go. I hope to be free of that by new year. Keep your fingers crossed. While this is a positive transformation in my life, it is somewhat overshadowed once again by the changes in my children. There is no greater moment in parenting than when you appreciated that the lessons you have been teaching have been absorbed and duly noted. With the first day of school only a week away, my eldest has shifted his focus back toward the academic. He came to me yesterday and asked for the use of one of the computers in the house. I gladly obliged without any questions as to why. He indicated he wanted to write some things down. Not wanting to pry further into his privacy, I let sleeping dogs . . . you know the rest. I set him up in the office and he commenced with his work. This is not a daily occurrence. The only time he uses our home computer is when we require him to study his French. Aside from this he only uses it on an occasion for window shopping various and none too kid friendly pieces of technology and of course weaponry. I must admit that he is perhaps beyond his years in maturity. I let him toil and he spent an hour or two without a peep. Soon enough however, I heard my name from the next room over. As it turns out, he needed some spelling advice. “How do you spell “Engineer””, he asks. He had it correct, but didn’t have a clue what the green underlining meant. I explained the grammar correction feature of the program and he went back to his work. I took the moment to take a quick peek over his shoulder without him noticing. Not and invasion of privacy, simply a good parent making sure his child is not up to no good. What I witnessed was so astounding that it rendered my speechless as I walked away. My wife and I have ritualistically mapped out our lives by making a list of life goals. We revamp this list every couple of years as we tend to keep up such a break neck pace that we eclipse most of our goals far before we have planned them to occur. There was a time we broke them down into 5 year increments, but we found that it was meaningless when we revisited them years later. Every two years or so seems to be sufficient to keep us moving forward.
What my son was so involved with was this very type of project. We do not shield our children from the inner workings of our lives. The administrative details are left in the open for them to understand and learn from. Bills and balancing checkbooks is an open discussion as is the importance of education as it relates to future employment and life opportunities. The contents of his list were incredible. His little punch list began as follows:
Education: MIT
Career: Engineer
Home State: California
Vehicles: Rolls Royce Ghost and Audi R8
There were other items on the punch list, but I didn’t have enough time to absorb it all. After a moment of reflection, it struck me . . . he wants to be Tony Stark. Now, there is a part of me that thinks having Iron Man as my son would be pretty damned cool, but there is a deeper meaning to these writings and how intent he was to write these goals down for the future. He DOESN’T want to be Iron Man . . . He wants to be Tony Stark. The devil is in the details and knowing that this list is rooted in reality rather than superhero fantasy requires a knowledge of his daily life. The similarities to Marvel’s man of metal are purely coincidental. For a long time, he has desired to become an engineer. He has yet to determine what type, but he has a thirst for science and math and wants more than anything to invent something that changes the world. Whether it be mechanical contraption or chemical compound, he want so discover something that nobody else has. He has his father’s treasure hunter like demeanor and discovery is his passion. It explains his love for reading and learning new things. He has an incredible memory and will remember the smallest details without being reminded. I believe he knows well his strengths and is a contributing factor as to why he has little worry about attending school in a foreign language. He has expressed his career goals with some frequency as of late and we have discussed institutions of higher education and during one of these talks MIT was mentioned as an option. Yes, Tony Stark has a Rolls Royce, but he has a Phantom, not a Ghost. My son became fascinated by these vehicles from a program we watched (in French of course) about the production of these hand crafted pieces of automotive perfection. It led to a discussion of fine automobiles and an internet search of brilliant cars (one of my favorite activities). He has seen them all and favors the RR Ghost and Audi R8. I believe the Ghost is an independent desire, while his lust for and R8 may be rooted in my desire for an Audi myself. California is an easy one. It has been discussed that the weather on the western coast of France is similar in its mild fluctuations as that in California. His desired location is based upon this weather pattern and that ability to be close to the Ocean. He will miss it when we leave and the soulfulness of this connection makes me sad for the day that will inevitably come when I must pry him away from it for the dry flat lands of Eastern Kansas.
The “Tony Stark Connection” as I am now referring to it with my wife didn’t become apparent to my son himself until we (purposefully) re-watched it recently. I was insistent on the movie selection for the evening to see if he would recognize the similarities. I was certain that his desires were pure and not at all related to the cinema, but I wanted to put my theory to the test. I could see his eyes get big when all the things he desired appeared on screen one at a time. He commented “Hey, Tony Stark went to MIT!”. I laughed and stated that Tony Stark was someone’s intellectual creation and to make him seem like an engineering genius, they show that he graduated from MIT. The vehicles were a similar epiphany. “Is that a Rolls Royce?”. “Yes”, I confirmed. “It’s different than the one I like”. Duly noted. So, will he be wearing a red and gold metallic suit to fight evil across the world? Unlikely, but the intelligence, fame and fortune glorified by Tony Stark’s persona are well within his reach if that is what he so desires in life. The barrage of questions that came after the closing credits of family movie night had me reveal my hand a bit and I asked him if these things were similar to those he had listed on his list of goals. He smiled and answered in the affirmative. I used the opportunity to once again pound home the lesson that his life has no limits and the reality based portion of the super heroes alter ego is completely doable with hard work, determination and a hell of an education. He was as enthusiastic as ever and I am sure his dreams that night were filled with thoughts of flying and fanciful inventions that would change the world forever. If I can continue to foster his enthusiasm, perhaps one day he will invent a mechanism that will keep his younger brother out of Prison. For now, I am going to revel in the glow of my children’s achievements and my own. If it were not for our decision to uproot them from the stasis they were lapsing into on our farm in Kansas, they might have never appreciated the fact that ANYTHING is possible. I think his appreciation that he can live in California rather than Kansas says it all. Not being bound by your current environment or reality, means that there is nothing holding you back from your dreams.
As I write this, he sits across from me enjoying a bowl of cereal as a grown man in a 9 year old body. Wait, he just sneezed and the force banged his head into his bowl of frosted flakes. Disregard all my prior comments . . . perhaps he is a simpleton after all. Until tomorrow. R.
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