Day 76

Wisdom for my Eldest Son.

My wife and I are truly the "odd couple".  She is my Oscar and I am her Felix.  I was going to go with a Peanuts analogy in which she would be pigpen, however, I didn't know what to call myself . . . Peppermint Patty maybe?  I sure did like the way she used to make Chuck fall on his ass when trying to kick the football . . . no, wait . . . that was Lucy wasn't it?  Ok, Ok, too much time in the company of small children has my sanity wavering a bit.  At any rate, the pigpen reference would probably not be well received by the spouse and it isn't entirely fair as she is not dirty, she is just a bit messy and disorganized.  That being said, she has never once come home to a messy or dirty home.  I pride myself on that and know that the last thing someone who has been on the road for a week or so wants to do is wade through mountains of laundry or clean a messy kitchen.  So, while my house stays clean and organized, I do have a domestic item or two to attend to before she arrives at the house this evening to make certain it is as spotless as I prefer to keep it.  Even though I know without a doubt that she will make a mess of it as soon as she arrives, it is still nice to start with a clean slate.  Even though there is little to do, I still have to feed and bath younsters as well, so I am going to keep this evenings comments relatively short.

The day started for mewith sort of a strange Mafia-like car ride that I was certain was going to end with me wearing a pair of concrete galoshes.  After dropping my boys off at the school house, I was stopped by another parent who insisted on "giving me a lift" to my next destination so we could talk.  Not certain what we were going to talk about as they continued to call me "Bryan", I reluctantly accepted the ride.  Note to self, don't get in car with strangers.  The ride was actually innocent enough.  Simply a concerned parent that had noted my son's friendship with another boy at school and wanted me to know that this boy might be a bad influence.  I thought to myself that  . . . hell, I am a bad influence on my kids, why would I be concerned about a 10 year old.  Not wanting to offend, I kept my mouth shut and listened to what had to be said.  I have always preached to my eldest strenghth of conviction and individual thought, so I have never been concerned with him keeping questionable company.  This is especially true since I had a friend or two on the fringe when I was a kid and they would have gladly laid down in traffic for me if I would have asked them to.  The key here is the better part of discretion.  Make wise choices and lead when you are asked to follow.

Still, I am not one to turn a blind eye and so a post class interrogation of my son was in order.  Ultimately, the report was not all that good and there had been some behavior on my son's part that I don't approve of.  I could not, however, be more proud of my son and his candor when faced with a disappointed father.  His willingness to share with me the good and the bad made me appreciate what a fine young man he is and instilled confidence in me that he is in fact on the right path.  Everyone makes poor choices, the key is how you handle yourself when you discover the error of your ways that makes you a stronger and better man.  The infractions were actually very slight and would not necessarily be anything that warrants punishment, but I believed it to be a good time to strengthen his resolve and pass on something that my father shared with me.  It is this . . .

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

These are the words of Rudyard Kipling for those of you that have not encountered it before.  My father shared this with me as a young man and it had a lasting effect.  I, in turn, have passed it on to my heir and pray that it rings as true in his heart as it does in mine.

Thanks Dad . . . I love you.