Day 99

Would you be mine, could you be mine . . . won't you be my neighbor. Ah, Mister Rogers.  Nothing like a 50 year old virgin in a cardigan and house slippers teaching your children about morals and proper social etiquette.  That being said, some of it must have sunk in over the years, because I would test out his teachings in an exchange that, like so many others we have had in this fair land, we could liken to no other.  The door bell rang early this Saturday morning.  Upon my wifes answer, a very friendly greeting was given...

Day 96, 97 and 98

Time flies when you're having fun. Since making the brilliant decision to move AGAIN, things have become even more hectic if that is even possible.  The days are blurring together in a haze of sweaty trips to the school house and late nights finishing projects on Madame Chabou's house of horrors so that we can have the realtors over for pictures.  Couple this with the upcoming departure of our eldest to Wales and all of the shopping that such an adventure requires and you have little time for sleep let alone calm reflection on the days...

Day 95

Just call me "Wonderman". I find that having superheroes on your underpants gives you a renewed sense of vigor and self worth.  It bolsters your fortitude and provides you with the self confidence necessary to take on the world.  I needed that on Day 95.  The plan was simple.  Arrive at the Prefecture 20 to 30 minutes prior to opening to ensure I was the first in line to conduct business at 8:30.  This would clearly make it possible for me to then make it to my French lesson that begins at 9:00.  Upon my arrival,...

Day 94

Je m'appelle Lee Harvey.  Je suis Americain. In what can only be described as the magic bullet of pigeon shit, I took one to the dome this morning on my walk to school.  I took this as an omen for the day.  I don't know how it happened, but with the precision of a skilled surgeon, a pigeon saw fit to crap in my ear.  Fortunately, my earbud took the brunt of the abuse.  Now, I have had some recent criticism of my musical tastes, but this is ridiculous.  How exactly the fecal matter hit my inner ear and no other spot...

Day 93

Happiness is a comfortable pair of man panties, fresh pits, and promise of visitors from a foreign land. Sunday was spent at home.  Home for now, anyway.  We realize that we have much to do in preparation for the big move, but didn't make the slightest dent in the list this fine day.  As has become our tradition, we hosted one of the eldest's friends for an afternoon of play here at Madame Chabou's Reform School for Girls.  It was a pleasant afternoon spent for the boys while the wife and I sorted out the domestic affairs....

Day 92

No Moss Gathers on a Rolling Stone. Well friends, just as we were sort of getting settled, it is once again time to move.  Don't get excited, we aren't coming home just yet.  Given our recent decision to pull the children from the International School, we found ourselves no longer tied to the metropolitan area and decided to stretch our wings a bit.  We really must think our eldest son for our new accommodations, for it is his friendship with a young english lad that led us to our new home.  This young man's mother is a lovely...

Day 91

Julia Childs is my home girl:  How I lost my sanity at the DMV. Schizophrenic.  If I were to describe the day with just one word, that would be it.  The morning would be spent in queue at the Prefecture in an attempt to finalize the paperwork for the eldests trip to Pays de Galles.  This was truly administrative hell.  The line moved with all the urgency of a dead snail and seemed to snake its way out of the building, down the street, and then across eastern europe finding us waiting somewhere around the Lithuanian border....

Day 90

Man Panties and Strong Coffee. Well, I finally did it.  I broke down and bought some man panties.  No doubt about it, the are going to revoke my membership to the heterosexuality club.  These babies are as gay as the day is long.  Couldn't be avoided though.  The alternatives are bleak.  My current supply is starting to get so warn that they will be nothing more than a couple of strings and an elastic waistband within a washing or two.  All other reasonable options for replacements are way too expensive to consider....

Day 89.75

Tihs psot wlil maen soemhtnig to tohes taht wnat to mkae fun of my sepllnig.  Fcuk YOU.  Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an cmabirgde uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by ilstef, but the wrod as a wlohe Did you get that?  See, spelling is of little importance to the message being conveyed, and since...

Day 87, 88 and 89

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Thats a catch phrase that all parents have used at least once and that has been the theme for the past couple of days for me.  I don't have a single f _ _ _ing nice thing to say, so I have remained quiet as my parents advised.  I can remain silent no longer, so I pray that this doesn't head down the wrong path.  I want to keep it on the possitive and share with you some of the randomness that has been floating through my shallow thoughts over the past couple of...

Day 86

Drinkin Wine wit ma Homies . . . Carl Douglas and the Gangster Ass Wine Tour. Ok, folks, this one is going to require some explanation.  First off, the song.  One of my favorites.  An oldie but a goodie.  Carl Douglas' "Kung Fu Fighting".  A great song from a great year.  1974 to be exact . . . the year of my birth.  In addition, the video is a montage from one of my favorite movies that oddly enough I watched just last night.  There has to be some cosmic significance to all of this, but we will get...

Day 85

Well, what do you know, Day 82 and 83 are back.  I guess the fine folks at Google are in fact true to their word.  They indicated that the lost posts would be restored and sure enough, here they are.  Mom returned on Day 84 and we celebrated the promise of a longish tour of duty at home with a bottle or two of wine.  Unfortunately, my head would hurt for most of Day 85 as a result.  The headache would intensify as the morning carried on.  We are nearly on the eve of our eldest's trip to Wales.  Given...

Day 84

Blogger ate day 82 and 83. I hope that a few of you had the opportunity to actually read Day 82 and 83 before the kind folks at Google deleted it.  The most disappointing part is that the audio visual portion of the blog was quite entertaining.  That being said, I am far to deep into a red wine bender to produce any philosophical musing that might be worth a good read.  I think I am going to let video and audio do my writing for me this evening.  My wife is home and we need some quality time together.  I will post...

Day 82 and 83

I've been considering words that begin with the letter "A" Attitude, Anger, Addiction . . . The truth of the matter is, I have spent the last two days trying to work out an analogy to describe my personality and the way in which I work out my inner demons.  I came up with two that I am fairly fond of, so I will share them with you now.  I am like a Pimple and a Volcano.  Maybe I am like a pimple ON a Volcano, all I know is that over time the pressure builds and for the longest time the tempest within remains below the surface. ...

Day 81

Better than Duct Tape. Our usual morning routine does not always allow for the breakfast dishes to be completely cleaned before we we pile ourselves in the 206 for the morning commute.  Unfortunately, this usually means that there is a cornflake or two tack welded to the silverware upon my return.  Have you ever tried to dislodge a dried cornflake from the inside of a cereal bowl?  It's damned near impossible.  I swear that if you dip a cornflake in milk and stick it to the ceiling, you could easily hang a chandelier from...

Day 80.5

I am breaking with tradition and adding a second post for the day.  I so enjoyed sharing the David Ford song, I have decided to add a musical component to the blog.  I will add a bit of a "What I am Listening To" section for those that would be interested.  The first selection is from a band called Mumford and Sons.  I have damned near worn out the album cover to cover.  If you haven't heard of them, in my humble opinion, you should have.  I will now do my part to further their career.  I hope you enjoy as I have. ...

Day 80

I pee with my weenie and mommie pees with her butt. Yup, that pretty much sums up the day.  I would argue that nothing more needs to be said, really.  My daily life has become the art of managing too many f_ _ _ing irons in the fire.  Between part time student and full time Dad my energy reserves are beginning to become dangerously low.  Between the mental exertion of learning a new language and the daily grind of raising proper young men, I am freaking tired.  Je suis fatigue!  That much French I do know. ...

Day 79

Happy Mother's Day indeed. Well, it had to happen . . . and unfortunately it did as it always does.  Sunday rolled around and we prepared to bid mom a farewell to yet another week of travel.  This promises to be the last until August, however, I am not holding my breath for fear of permanent brain damage and incapacitation.  Given Mom's Monday departure, we gave it our all the share an enjoyable day together.  We gathered the troops and loaded all of the bikes onto the Renault and were off to the park for a pleasant afternoon...

Day 78

East Bound and Down:  The Greatest 1:30 seconds in Musical History. Should we stay or should we go?  That has been the debate for some time now and the decision is one that is weighing heavily on our hearts.  Since the whole crew was together this Saturday, it was time to do a bit of exploring.  Since we have made the decision to remove the children from the International School and throw them into a proper French school we are no longer tied to Madame Cabou's house of horrors.  Don't get me wrong, I have now done enough...

Day 77

At my wife's request. I am beginning to think that this project is getting a little long in the tooth and it crossed my mind to discontinue the blog.  At the very least, I was going to curtail it to a once a week affair.  I mentioned this to my wife and she was none too happy with either idea, so for now and to maintain marital bliss I will continue my daily updates.  It isn't that I have lost interest, quite to the contrary in fact.  The truth is, this takes a fair amount of time and effort and life is becoming more complicated...

Day 76

Wisdom for my Eldest Son. My wife and I are truly the "odd couple".  She is my Oscar and I am her Felix.  I was going to go with a Peanuts analogy in which she would be pigpen, however, I didn't know what to call myself . . . Peppermint Patty maybe?  I sure did like the way she used to make Chuck fall on his ass when trying to kick the football . . . no, wait . . . that was Lucy wasn't it?  Ok, Ok, too much time in the company of small children has my sanity wavering a bit.  At any rate, the pigpen reference would probably...

Day 75

Addictions and Afflictions It is relatively well established by now that my youngest son and I have addictive personalities.  Both of us seem to be orally fixated as well.  I am proud to say that my addiction to caffeine and his addiction to hotdogs have been defeated with the help of a 12 step program.  Unfortunately, like a chain smoker that becomes addicted to the nicotine gum, we too are addicted to a replacement substance that may be moderately better for our health, but we are addicted all the same.  He has not gone a...

Day 74

Living on the verge rather than the edge. It seems these days that I am on the verge with everything I do.  I am on the verge of completing all the domestic chores on my list.  I am on the verge of learing a foreign language.  I am on the verge of having a spouse in the same postal code.  I am on the verge of going insane.  Always a bridesmaid but never a bride.  I am on the verge, but never quite make it.  My life has always sounded like a Country and Western Song.  "Ma feet stank, the youngens...