Day 6

Anyone have a row boat and a little extra time on their hands?  If so, could you pick up my furniture and row it over to me?  At the rate our (lowest bidder) moving company is moving, you would certainly beat them across the pond.  I checked on our shipment today and our furniture is due to arrive somewhere around December of 2017.  Not terribly surprising given how swimmingly everything else has gone, but disappointing nonetheless.

The kids and I laid low today to take care of some domestic duties around our hotel room.  The hotel staff only cleans these babies once a week, so you really can't treat your room like a rock star.  The children have been tremendously tolerant considering the cramped quarters, but I think the novelty is starting to wear off.  As for me, the attempt at conserving our wardrobe to avoid having to go to the VERY expensive laundry is starting to take it's toll psychologically.  A man can't feel himself when he is on his second day in the same underpants.  We asked to borrow the vaccum cleaner that was evidently available for our use in order to clean our floors since they feel a little more like a gravel road than precut laminate.  What we got was a dust buster.  I can now tell you from experience, that it is hell on the back trying to vaccum the floor with a dust buster.  Plus, since I have so abused the elastic of my underpants from multi-day use, my pants kept falling down when I would bend over to vaccum.  Oh the indignity.

To be honest, we are starting to get to a critical level on many fronts.  Ran out of toilette paper today at an inopportune moment, polished off the last of our Monster Munch and made our final effort to choke down three day old Pizza Hut.  Got a piece of stale crust lodged in my throat and thought I was going to choke to death.  Getting pretty tired of taking the dog for a walk in the morning to do his duty.  Nothing says breakfast like picking up steaming dog nuggets off of the pavement in front of throngs of morning commuters.  STUPID DOG.  Probably all for the best though . . . the walks give me some exercise and after doing a rough conversion of the nutritional data on the back of the Monster Munch, they may have to cut the door off of the hotel room and extricate me with a crane.  I knew nothing that tasted that good could possibly be good for you.  I believe they are just deep fried chunks of pork fat cut into the shapes of little smiling ghosts.  At 8000 calories and 657 grams of fat per serving (God I hope my math is wrong), I should be in the hospital by the weekend.

Started shopping for vehicles today in hopes of making a dent in that project by the weekend.  My wife keeps reminding me that our budget is strict and that these are going to be vehicles of necessity not luxury.  Re-sale value and compact size are going to be the deciding factors.  Both the wife and I do agree that we would like to stick with a domestic, but I am having a great deal of difficulty purchasing one of these little "citadines"  translate: "city car", because they all have names that remind me of a feminine shaver.  Names like Micra, Mitto, Clio and Panda don't paint mental images of a moustachioed Bandit screaming down the road in a jet black Firebird, but rather a hand model softly displaying the pocket size and simple design that is sure to minimize razor burn at your bikini line.  There is just way too much truth in advertising in this country.  I guess if food is supposed to be named for the sound it makes when you injest it, why not name a car for what you will feel like when you drive it, RIGHT?  I will keep you posted.