Hiscox in my Sandy Orifice and the Laptop that Set my Crotch on Fire

It appears to have been nearly a week since my last entry, though that seems nearly unfathomable.  The days are bleeding together into a mélange of euphoric training hikes and monotonous single parenting opportunities.  The wife had not so much as left the driveway when the boys and I crafted a plan to hit the beach for a little fun in the sun and possible titty watching.  The latter seems to be of increasing interest to my eldest which makes me have to shield my laughter when I catch his eyes darting about the beach in hopes of...

If April Showers Bring May Flowers

Then what do May Showers Bring after all the flowers have been drowned?  I know, do you? No?  It brings misery, that’s what May Showers bring . . . MISERY.   It has been raining for so many days now that I have simply lost count.  I feel a vague yearning to gather some animals and build an Ark.  Of course if Noah had started this late in the game all would have been lost.  What can I say . . . I’m lazy.  Though I don’t remember heavy rains being a particular problem last year, I do recall the change in...

Silencing the Metronome: Growing Pains and Armpit Stains

Tick Tock, the pendulum swings each side sings its song One for the better and one for the worse neither to admit their wrong Tick Tock, the clock confirms we can’t go back in time Be it black or be it white your opinion’s not worth a dime I debated simply posting this and letting nature take its course.  To do so would have led to some very interesting conversation for those brave enough to voice their thoughts.  Since I don’t usually get much of a response given my limited readership, I think I will go ahead and explain. ...

A Nice Day for a White Wedding (Part 2)

There is a vague awareness tucked in the back of my mind that is an interesting thought to ponder.  During my entire time back in the US, I had not even a glimmer of my usually compulsive need to write.  This seems notable on two fronts.  First, an eventual move back “home” might well bring an end to my fledgling career as a writer.  Second, I realized that the reason I write is to share the voice that is usually stifled by a formidable language barrier.  When in my native tongue I finally feel like myself again, capable...

A Nice Day for a White Wedding . . . Makes it Hard to Get Back in the Saddle Again (PART 1)

Ever notice how many analogies and metaphors have to do with horses?  Anything from getting back in the saddle after a long absence to getting right back on after you have been bucked off.  How about “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride”.  Never fully understood that one.  There seems to me to be a whole lot of presumption in that statement that I am not comfortable assuming at this point in my life.  For example . . . Do beggars make wishes?  I feel as though their waking hours are filled with more practical...

98%: Feeling Crappy with a side of Suckishness

Here is the problem with being 98% healed from any injury or ailment:  2% of the time you feel like shit.  The slightest discomfort reminds you that you cannot return to life as normal and must continue to caudle the weak link in the chain.  It is, to be completely honest, infuriating.  It is why children and dogs make such poor patients.  The moment they feel the slightest bit better, they overexert themselves and inevitably aggravate their injuries.  While most would argue that I act like a child and have the emotional depth...