Why the Camino de Santiago is Safer than the Appalachian Trail

One word . . . Hillbillies.  As I mentioned in one of my recent posts, I am in the process of chewing through Bill Bryson’s masterpiece entitled A Walk in the Woods.  Not only is it irreverently funny and brilliantly written, it is more than of passing interest for those of us who think the best way to find yourself is to actually lose yourself on a 500 mile walk.  The author’s initial impressions of his endeavor are an interesting reminder of all those things that can, have and will happen to anyone going it alone on a remote wilderness trail.  Now, to call the Camino a wilderness trail on par with the Appalachian Trail is probably a bit of a stretch, but certain dangers are inherent with this type of activity.  As I read through his list of concerns, I was able to mark most of them off of my list.  The North American Black Bear is obviously of little concern for me, hence the name “NORTH AMERICAN Black Bear”.  The other crown jewel of potential dangers on the AT are the toothless hillbillies bent on raping unsuspecting hikers just for the sport of it.  To be honest, I can’t even watch a Ned Beatty film anymore without getting a little queasy.

Still, I find myself puzzling out those things which I must have overlooked.  The hidden dangers.  The things I can’t expect or possibly prepare for.  I know that there are accounts on the Camino of roving bands of stray dogs that have been known to set their sights on those with a shell on their pack.  I feel relatively prepared for such a contingency though, as I will be walking with two rather imposing walking sticks that I am certain I could wield with ninja like deftness in fending off even the largest of mongrel canines we are likely to encounter.  So what have I missed?  Where is the chink in my armor?  Could it be gypsies?  Supposedly potable water laced with some micro-organism bent on the destruction of my digestive system?  Maybe it will be something as simple as the apparently difficult to recognize trail markers that will eventually lead me straight off of a hidden cliff to my certain death on the valley floor below.  I know for a fact and now from experience that the abuse and necessary care for my lower extremities will be of utmost concern, but that can be said for most any hike.  It would seem that being run over by a speeding bus could be one danger that could be easily overlooked if you were say  . . . BLIND.  Apparently there was one woman who was wiped out by a drunk driver, but I think the odds are in my favor on that one.

So, it seems I shall simply continue my preparations with a conscious eye on the common dangers of heat stroke, dehydration, blisters and the like in hopes that my real advantage lies in the fact that the only hillbilly that one might encounter on the Camino de Santiago is ME.  It is always good to be at the top of the food chain.  Ain’t that right boy?  You sure got a purty mouth!  R.